When I first met you, I didn’t know what to think. I had been on Xbox Live since Call of Duty 3 and never thought of joining a clan before. I had 5 friends who I gamed with every day; we were COD Pubstompers and were content with getting on and immediately disappearing into a party together for hours each day. I received messages throughout the years - DHG, XGC, a slew of small upstarts. At the time, I was settled in my place with the friends I had.
As time went on, my friends’ schedules changed. Some of them got off way too early for my work schedule, and I found myself riding solo a lot until I was hit up by a KSI member on Modern Warfare 2 who sent me a similar generic message post game. I’d dismissed the idea in the past, but there I was in a position where my routine had been disrupted and figured maybe it was time to try something new. I sent him a message back, joined a party and went through the recruitment process.
I was placed in Ancient Armada, Sigma Squad. I met a few people here and there but stayed close with my recruiter. He was a good talker, knew a lot about KSI and had this motivational knack to him. I stayed for about 6-7 months then had my final year at University to deal with. I heard a lot of stuff happened a few months after I left so I figured when the time was right I would rejoin you. That took about 2 years to happen, during which I dabbled a bit in a smaller clan before being prompted to rejoin you with my initial recruiter.
We had just reopened a division AD (After Death), and I was put in Oblivion as a Sergeant to start, which quickly turned to Lieutenant 2 weeks later after I had shaken off my rust. From there, I was pushed to General after the loss of our entire officer staff. With no idea what I was doing initially, I used communication, asked questions, and had a sense of pride in succeeding that quickly showed me that the possibility of being a leader here was real. When I joined, I thought I would never reach that echelon…this place was “too big and too vast to notice me”.
I had a lot of time on my hands while I was recovering from some problems and limited to my house for at least 2 months. You kept me distracted, gave me a home, gave me redemption in a sense that traveled into my real life. I chose to pursue that “impossible task” I felt was at hand. That motivation made me want to learn as much as I possibly could, not just from leaders, but from members that I interacted with daily. I stayed passionate about what I learned from rebuilding that squad, and I tried to make sure everyone mattered below me. Soon I was travelling upward to Founder, Co-Division Leader, Division Leader. I poured my heart into this place and truly felt like I was making a difference, teaching people to find potential they never knew existed. I made my goal to show everyone I encountered just how amazing you have been to me.
I’ve found myself on the wrong side of people’s pasts, found adversity since the moment I felt the pressure of a squad that needed me to succeed. I found those impossible ranks and none of it was easy, I was judged by who recruited me, I was underestimated on a consistent basis…I still am. By people that lost their purpose here years ago, people that left and let power, rank, influence corrupt the true meaning behind why we do this. I never let it stop me, I never once let myself see the point of view of those people. I stayed true to you and the people that inhabit this place, I have peers that encourage me and see how much I care.
I promise you that no title or rank here will ever turn me away from the purpose of holding it, and I am sure every Senior Leader of this community can attest to the same. Education will always come before politics, and the members will always supersede my personal feelings. People count on me every day to teach them new things, show them the road I took to be who I am now…and I promise you I won’t let them down. That no matter what I am labeled, how am I judged or what is assumed of me that you will know, the members will know and I will know that I never stopped being that General who thought it was impossible to ever be noticed here. It makes me respect the titles I hold, makes me realize that the fabric of what this place is will always be bigger than myself. Even if I make mistakes, I will never hide behind them, you deserve better than that.
Thank you, KSI, for helping me see a purpose on this console that most people consider purposeless. Thank you for keeping me distracted during rough times in my life and showing me that “impossible” is just a formality. Thank you for the people who loved you enough to stay here and teach me what they know, regardless of their pasts. Thank you for reminding me each day that even if people don’t understand now, they will if I keep trying. For keeping me humble, giving me the opportunities I’ve had to make a change. Finally, thank you for the retractors over the years, for situations that seemed too severe to overcome…they have only made me stronger. I’ll never give up on you…because you never gave up on me, no matter how “big or vast” you got.
KSI Cali 7