I try to maintain composure in front of others, most of the time. But there are times, entirely too many, where I hit a breaking point. When something happens that just eats away at me and leaves me wondering "What am I doing wrong?" I've had a lot of those lately.
But when it comes to those times, those despairing thoughts that won't go away, I've found that there are friends - hundreds or even thousands of miles away - who will help it sting a little less. Even if that means them telling me to get on Destiny and go kill some aliens with them to think about it a little less. Or just sitting in a party for 3 hours and talking it out with me. Or getting me to get up and go do a workout to rid some of the stress.
Lost Empire has been a blessing. Half of the members came from broken divisions, feeling defeated or angry. Together, we have risen up to the challenges presented. There is no shortage of members willing to reach out to one another when they are feeling upset, depressed or hurt. We make it a point to let it be known to speak up to someone, to anyone, in the event it gets to be too much.
It doesn't always work... We lost a member recently. Before sitting down to write this, I looked at his picture, his screenshots, the last things he wrote in our server, then I spent 20 minutes sitting on the floor of my room, crying. Not because I was especially close to him. But because now I never will be - no one else will be. I feel like I failed him.
Life is entirely too short already. Don't help it along to the end. Say something. If someone doesn't listen, say it again to someone else. I have been in that seemingly never ending black hole. All it can take sometimes is one lifeline. Just one person to say, "You are so brave. Every day that you get up to face the next one, you are strong, and you are brave." Whether that person is right next to you or is a voice over the headset, you're never alone.
Edited by Mizz Airy